PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize