Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
