i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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