i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
