Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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