It's like God shit irony all over that family
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
