Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
