he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
