she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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