So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
