alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
