I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
You dont lie about slip and slides
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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