remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
