i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize