I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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