hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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