i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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