she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
