lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
