Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
