He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
