my mouth tastes like poor choices
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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