my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
