I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
