yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Welp...herpes.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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