i can't believe i had my finger in that
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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