you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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