Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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