There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
be right there i have to get my cape
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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