I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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