did you get engaged???
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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