she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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