Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
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you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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