i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
