I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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