Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
