bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
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We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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