Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
