I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
