Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
