so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
