oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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