Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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