I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
