using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
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