she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
