escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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