I'm going to jail i love you
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
