I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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