doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
