I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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