Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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