ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
