She said her name was "party"
I can text with my tongue
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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