I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
So vagazzling was a success
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
