you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
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