took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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