nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
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you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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