just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I yelled at your uterus for you.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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