my vag is so smooth its legendary
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
