Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
