I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
