Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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