So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
