like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
